Christmas

is Christmas night

everyone is shouting of bored

are they expecting something to happen??

for me is still okay

Christmas for me is a normal day

as I'm not a christian or what..

the town feel so empty,

maybe lots of people went home to celebrate their days with their love one...

and the more than half of the university students are having their semester break...

i feel boring?

nope.. just feel that doesn't not wanted to stay at home..

staying at home remind me of doing assignment..

aaHH.. suffocating..

is been a long time,

no one calling me through phone and chatted with me for more than 20minute...

asking me 'how are you'

although we met less than 3 month..

i really appreciate you for treating me as your friends..

i apologize again, for always avoiding you...

LOL??~~

i never treated anyone as a friend of mine i guess

even they treated me very well..

but i just treat them like a human and not a friend

friend is define as?

i don't know

just that, i feel i done not enough as a friend if compare with them...

i am sorry...

tell you..

the reason for me to avoid them is

they only treat beautiful people as friends..

this is what i thought of them

ever since i knew them...

till now, it never change, but it grew stronger and stronger..

everything that they have done seems to support my hypothesis...

and it is not my fault to born ugly

even if i am pretty..

i think i will done the same thing to avoid you

why everyone have to wait for me to make a move?

why??

this is the unseen pressure that they give to me..

waiting me to settle everything..

why me?

i am just like all of you..

I'm older than you did not mean i am clever and incredible in handling everything

i study form 6 before doesn't mean i need not have to study for mid term...

I'm freakishly fucking tired....

i really need a damn break

i wanted a vacation...

jump to the bus and drop me some where else for a day

but not here..

TT